Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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