i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I am available for nakedness
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
