all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Less talking, more tequila
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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