its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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