Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
