i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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