i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
