She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
