I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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