My nipple is on Facebook.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
