I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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