I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
