Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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