he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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