I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
