He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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