Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I need to calm my uterus...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
