how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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