Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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