Your tits are I can't wait for
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
