i barfeds in our rink
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
