i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
