Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
