your parents love me but you hate me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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