dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
