In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
