definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you never un-have a 4some
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
