If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
