I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
