he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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