I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
