I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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