Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
