Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
