Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
