Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
