Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just pynch a tree in the face
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
