i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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