what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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