one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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