I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
