you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
