Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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