i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
