Don't you send me to vm
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
