i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
