Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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