whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
