why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
