I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i think i have herpe
just one?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What drink are we having for lunch?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The feeling are messing with the penis
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
